Hello, brake check!

Everyone has experienced a brake check or two in their lifetime. Sometimes you’re giving the check and other times you’re being checked. Here’s how my brake check went down last weekend…

The direction of travel...

I’m stopped at the stop line near the bottom-right side of the photo. The SUV I ultimately brake check is stopped in the lane to the left of me. The light turns green and we both start traveling forward through the intersection.

If you notice the two lanes we’re in turn into three lanes when you start crossing the bridge. That third lane on the far-right ends up being a right-turn only lane, so my car has the option of either staying in the middle lane or going into the right lane. The other car only has one option… stay in the far left lane.

The other driver, however, begins to merge into the middle lane… right into where my car is driving. I give a courtesy honk to inform the driver he’s about to hit me as I speed up and get in front of his car. He gets behind me and lays on his horn.

Now… there are two reasons why someone honks their horn. The first reason is an “FU” honk. The second reason is a “YOU’RE ABOUT TO RUN OVER THAT BABY” honk. I don’t always have tim to look for babies, so when I hear a honk I assume it’s the second reason. Every time.

I come to a complete stop. Half-a-second later he slams into the back of my car causing about $1,500 worth of damage. His damage on the other hand? Roughly $7,000.

He calls the cops and we all wait for the PD to arrive. In the meantime I notice a few things:

  1. The 32oz soda he was holding is now splattered all over his dashboard. That’s gunna be a sticky mess in the morning.
  2. He had a pipping hot Papa John’s pizza in the backseat. It surprisingly survived the crash.
  3. His airbag deployed.
  4. Water was leaking out of his front grill which can never be a good sign.
  5. The car wouldn’t start which means he needed a tow.
  6. He was REALLY pissed he hit me.

Now here’s where things get interesting… the cops arrive to gather our statements. The guy tries to argue with the cop about how traffic lanes work going through intersections… an argument he ultimately loses. The cop hops in his car to write the other guy a ticket for following too closely and after about 15 minutes steps out and beckons the guy over to him.


The guy walks over at which point the cop pulls out his handcuffs and arrests him! A few minutes later the cop walks over and tells me why: Apparently the guy was driving on a suspended license for failing to appear in court two months prior! Because his license was suspended he also got a ticket for driving without insurance! (Thankfully I have uninsured drivers insurance).

I was trying really hard not to smirk.

So not only will he have to spend the weekend in jail, he’ll also have to get his license reinstated, obtain valid insurance, pay the impound lot to retrieve his car, and finally cough up 7k to actually repair the thing. If there’s a moral to this story it’s this: if you’re riding dirty… let it slide brother, let it slide.


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